The lie of perfectionism can keep us caught in a quiet and painful loop. It asks us to believe that who we are is not enough, that we must fix, refine, and morph ourselves before we are worthy of being seen, loved, or expressed.
In this way, it threatens to keep us trapped in negative patterns, stuck in the shadows.
What would happen if, right here, right now, we decided that our path is not about becoming perfect? That our journey is actually a return to wholeness?
When we shift our focus toward wholeness, our entire lived experience begins to change. The pressure to arrive somewhere else softens, and we are invited into a deeper relationship with right where we are, right now.
Wholeness brings the journey back into reach. It reminds us that we are living, evolving beings already carrying everything we need within us.
To walk a path of wholeness is to welcome all that we are.
Not just the parts that feel easy to love, but also the ones we have hidden away, judged, or left behind. It is in this act of welcoming that we begin to reconnect, begin to remember the truth of our being.
Let’s unpack the weight of perfectionism, and unburden, together.
What is Perfectionism?
Perfectionism is a personality trait that has its roots in childhood, characterized by striving for flawlessness. We learn to set unrealistic standards and fear making a mistake. Our self-worth is often tied to our performance.
Perfectionism sets the belief that we must be perfect or perform “perfectly.” But according to who?
Perfectionism serves power structures. It holds us to unattainable “standards” that are deeply rooted in whiteness, capitalism, ableism, sexism and other systems of oppression. Living under the influence of these standards preserves the status quo, making it difficult to challenge existing norms and work toward true justice. It keeps us afraid to speak up, make a mistake, step out of line or rock the boat.
Perfectionistic thinking also keeps us from doing the things that bring us joy. It creates all-or-nothing thinking that prevents us from trying something new or risky, which dampens playful discovery and thwarts our free-flowing creativity and natural curiosity.
Instead, any mistakes are seen as personal failings. Comparison and criticism become the norm, replacing genuine appreciation and a willingness to learn and grow.
Striving for perfection keeps us from being vulnerable and showing our humanness. Instead we curate flawless versions of ourselves that we show to the world.
But here’s the truth: we are already perfectly imperfect just as we are. The goal is not in striving for some unattainable standard set by someone else…the work of the soul is in returning to wholeness. Reclaiming ALL parts of ourselves, even the ones deemed “not good enough.”
Shifting into Wholeness
Wholeness can be thought of as pure perfection, all things in harmony, not-broken, and all in one piece.
We are each already Whole. Wholeness doesn't exist as some end goal "out there.” We simply get to remember who we already are as we shine the light of awareness on the parts of ourselves that may have remained hidden, ignored, repressed, or not-yet-realized to illuminate the Wholeness that has never left us.
To be whole in our humanness doesn’t mean to feel completely without flaw, but rather to know that all parts make up our wholeness. Every ‘broken’ part of us holds medicine, wisdom, and importance. They are not aspects to toss away, but sacred bits to draw in as key pieces of our wisdom, growth, path, and wholeness.
Our shadows make us whole. We have not lost ourselves, and we do not need to be found. We are simply ever changing and in absolute divine perfection as we are.
If you feel called to in this now moment, affirm:
“I am whole exactly as I am.
The whole Universe is within me.
I am the Universe within.”
- Be willing to simultaneously move towards wholeness knowing that it is already so.
- Consider diving into the shadows to reclaim parts of self that you are ready to embrace.
- Think of some difficult-to-love parts of self and offer love to them.
Below, we’ve included a guided practice to support your journey into wholeness.
A Ritual for Wholeness
This ritual is from our Wisdom of the Divine Feminine Oracle.
Close your eyes. Receive a few deep breaths, grounding into your body.
Feel the Earth rising up to hold you. Bring awareness to your energy field.
With each breath, invite clearing energy to wash through your field. Then, say out loud, “I call ALL of myself TO myself.” Repeat the phrase over and over, feeling many parts and layers of yourself return to your field and body. Welcome ALL parts of yourself back. Call in parts that feel challenging, parts from different times and places, parts that feel unworthy of love, parts that feel deeply powerful, parts that feel beautiful, parts tucked away, and parts forgotten. Feel yourself as more and more whole in your body and field. Imprint this feeling into your body to tune into again in the future. Thank yourself.
If you feel called, turn to your journal and sit with the following contemplations:
- What parts of myself do I feel most challenged by?
- What parts of myself have I cast away and can now reclaim?
- How can I honor myself as sacred and whole as I am?
Feel free to share your reflections in the comments, we would love to hold your process with you!
May this nourish your journey into Wholeness.
We are in this journey of Wholeness alongside you. If you are looking to be more supported on your journey of Wholeness, our Wisdom of Wholeness Journal was created just for you.
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